“Change the way you look at things, and the way you look at things change.” -Dr. Wayne Dyer
It’s 2024. Like the start of every new year, we are extra motivated to change. We have vast visions of transformation - becoming fit, eating healthy, overcoming negative habits, showing up differently at our jobs, or pursuing a passion project.
We see some progress and it excites us. We say we’ll go all in on self-improvement. This is MY year, right?
Before we know it, we fall back into our old patterns.
Why do these changes never stick? Why do we find ourselves reverting to outdated habits by the end of the year? Why do we remain stuck in negative cycles?
Get to The Root
What creates lasting change?
There is an extra layer of reality that we are usually not aware of. This layer is the backbone of everything that occurs in our lives - the subconscious mind.
At the root of everything in our existence is our subconscious programming. Our mental states underlie the results we get.
Our subconscious mind is constantly being molded by every bit of information, each interaction, and even the thoughts our conscious mind generates. When we find ourselves somewhere we do not want to be in our lives, it becomes necessary to reprogram our subconscious in order to break free from old cycles and patterns. This process takes time and patience.
It is pointless to undertake a massive transformation without first taking inventory of our identities, beliefs, and thinking patterns. Our results are a direct reflection of our identity. If we try to make changes that are misaligned with our subconscious beliefs about ourselves and the world, we will be unable to break out of these patterns.
I Am statements are an effective way to shift our identity in the direction we want to go. Instill beliefs like “I am capable”, “I can overcome anything I face”, “I am powerful”, or “I am worthy”. Make a habit of writing these down every morning, as it will seep into your everyday interactions. We will unconsciously make decisions that align with those identities.
It is important that we speak in the present tense by using I Am. This conditions your subconscious that we are those identities now, and not chasing them, which implies that they are running away from us. We must also become aware of how we speak about ourselves in general.
The emotional power behind our intentions increases the likelihood of their manifestation. When we set an intention, the subconscious mind becomes wired to find opportunities to fulfill our goals. As you visualize new identities, feel what it would be like. Over time, an entirely new reality can be drawn to us.
Immerse yourself with information related to your goal. Follow social media accounts that support your intentions.
A Constant Source of Motivation
Most of us think we know what we want. We may have experienced accomplishing a goal, only to be unsatisfied. It didn’t give us the feeling of satisfaction that we thought it would. This is because our desire was aligned with our ego instead of our heart.
Our families, friends, and society have expectations for us. When we act from the ego, we find ourselves working to impress or please others. We unconsciously do what we think others want from us, instead of what we truly want.
These desires can be motivating to work towards for a bit, but eventually we become burnt out. It is exhausting to work for others’ expectations.
Our heart is always whispering to us, but it is difficult to hear amidst the chaos of everyday life. We usually walk through our life with others' thoughts at the forefront of our mind instead of our own.
Find silence from the overstimulation. Put down the phone, turn off the TV. Take a step back and spend some time to yourself, to hear your own thoughts. Listen to your deepest desires.
When we practice listening to ourselves, the voice inside becomes louder. Eventually, we begin to be guided by our heart. Following our true passions supplies a constant source of motivation that won’t dry up.
This may mean shaking up your daily routine, leaving a job, or moving to a new environment. The life we live on others’ terms must crumble to create space for our highest reality. It can be uncomfortable at first, but in the end it is extremely rewarding to be aligned with your heart.
Sustainable Lifestyle Change
Society has become engrossed in short-term thinking. We want to get rich quickly. We want to lose weight fast. We want our packages to arrive instantly. In terms of our goals, this is a recipe for failure, quitting, and burnout.
We commonly see this in fitness and weight loss transformations. We can only uphold drastic lifestyle changes for so long, which is why we often gain all the weight back that we worked so hard to lose. Adopting a long-term perspective increases the timeline of the goal. Instilling simple habits over time creates health that lasts.
When embarking on a transformation, we should make changes that will stick. Contrary to popular belief, change does not require overexertion. It requires making small lifestyle adjustments over time, focusing on the seemingly insignificant decisions that add up to our goals.
Developing a long-term perspective is a way to stay the course, no matter the obstacles you face. If you stay in the game, you can never lose. Quitting is the only way that failure can exist.
Where do I want to be in 5 years? Where will I end up if I continue my negative habits?
Transformation can certainly occur in as little as 6 months to a year, but playing the long game increases the chances of success to almost 100 percent.
If success in any area were plotted on a graph, it would look like a hockey stick.
At first, growth may seem slow as visible progress is minimal. However, we are building the foundation for massive improvement. If we “stick” with it, our continuous intention to improve will compound into exponential growth. Every positive action creates momentum and eventually, the snowball effect takes over.
This may seem discouraging at first, but we must accept it and commit to the long haul. Do we want to become uncomfortable now, spend a few months or years building ourselves and find success? Or would we rather stay secure, comfortable, and stagnant, and look back in the future with regret? Exponential success, or the blade of the hockey stick, may happen sooner than we think.
Spiral Instead of Loop
Many of us are stuck in negative cycles that seem impossible to break. We find ourselves getting caught in old patterns and making the same mistakes.
Life will continue to present the same lessons until we overcome them.
We can’t run from our lessons. We can leave a relationship, a job, or our hometown, but lessons will continue to present themselves in different forms. When we learn the lesson meant for us, we continue the upward spiral of improvement, instead of the closed loop of negativity.
There will undoubtedly be setbacks along the way, as the spiral still circles back around. Treat setbacks as opportunities to grow. Failure is good.
Life can be a rollercoaster, with high highs and low lows. However, we continue to spiral upwards into deeper lessons and greater levels of improvement. We can fail, but the difference is that we fail forward. Setbacks can be transmuted into success.
Self-improvement is a process of constantly peeling back the layers of our purpose and uncovering skills that we were previously unaware of.
We can enter a powerful state where nothing can touch us. Mistakes are only feedback, and we can adjust by making more empowering decisions. Suddenly, everything becomes a learning lesson, and our growth skyrockets. This is how we break the cycle of negativity and right the ship toward our limitless potential.
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